by Diana King and Virginia Murray

The She Said Yes video and discussion guides were produced to help bring meaning and healing from the tragic events at Columbine High School. To date over 2000 school administrators, teachers, counselors, youth group leaders, public officials, corrections officials and ministers have requested the program.

The educational consultants at Active Parenting always appreciate feedback on our programs, and one question that comes up occasionally has been about Cassie's final words.

Cassie Bernall (second from left) with her friends.

In the months since the Columbine tragedy, some have claimed that another student replied "yes" when asked by the killers if she believed in God. Cassie's parents, Misty and Brad Bernall, heard the same rumors while their book was in production. They stopped the presses and then thoroughly re-investigated the story before giving the green light for publication. (Witness Joshua Lapp, featured in the video, stands by his claim that Cassie did indeed say "yes.")

Regardless, the dispute about Cassie's final moments misses the point of her story, notes the video's associate producer, Rachel Metzger. "It's a story about parenting," she says "It's a story about the positive impact teens can have on each other, and about how one young woman found a way to turn her life around."

The Bernalls--who are not profiting from their story--are directing proceeds from the project to the Cassie Bernall Foundation, which in turn gives money to Denver-area youth programs.

Putting Cassie's story into action

As we have talked to professionals across the country, we are learning how they are using the program to reach teens, parents and educators in their communities. Following are some of those suggestions.

When planning your program, try to allow a minimum of one hour so there will be time for discussion. (A discussion guide is included with the video.) Many emotional issues are raised in the video, and both teens and adults need time to reflect on what they have seen and express their feelings. Many organizations have had follow-up sessions to more fully discuss the experiences of Cassie and her family. Read the book She Said Yes by Misty Bernall (included with the video) prior to showing the video and prepare to give a brief introduction to the program. Many teens and adults do not know the challenges Cassie and her family faced prior to the shooting. A short introduction helps viewers better understand Cassie and her family and participate more fully in the discussion session. Reading the book will also give you a good background to draw on if there are questions. If possible, show the video to middle and high school students at separate times. The issues and concerns of these age groups are different, and younger kids may be hesitant to open up and discuss their feelings around older teens. Consider asking a counselor or community leader to help lead the discussion and serve as a resource. If time constraints and programming requirements make it difficult to use the video and discussion in a regular class/program, consider integrating it into a special event. Students can view it as part of Drug Awareness Week programming. It can be shown to parents during a PTA meeting. Many groups have scheduled it for a youth lock-in, weekend retreat or camp.

To share your own experiences with the program, call 800-825-0060 or e-mail Diana King at Active Parenting.

Reprinted from Leader magazine.
Copyright 2000 by Active Parenting Publishers, Inc.